From today's "I Guess You had to be There" Category
If you decided one day that you needed alot of cheese puffs,
I mean, ALOT of fluffy, delicious, cheesy cheese puffs,
How many do you think you would buy to satiate this desire?
Would you think about it by the bag?
Or by the container?
What if you had the opportunity to think about it in terms
of individual puffs? And you could consider them into the thousands?
What if I offered it to you in a Five (5!) gallon drum?
This is standard fare at the consumerist circus that is Sam's Club.
And for most, close to 2,000 cheese puffs in a five gallon drum would...
well, probably suffice.
But not her. Not this woman. Only God knows why, to what ultimate
purpose she had in mind, but this night she felt the need to buy 6 (SIX!!!)
FIVE GALLON DRUMS FOR A POTENTIAL GRAND TOTAL OF CLOSE TO
TWELVE THOUSAND (12,000) CHEESY POOFS!!!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!
I have no futher comment.
I mean, ALOT of fluffy, delicious, cheesy cheese puffs,
How many do you think you would buy to satiate this desire?
Would you think about it by the bag?
Or by the container?
What if you had the opportunity to think about it in terms
of individual puffs? And you could consider them into the thousands?
What if I offered it to you in a Five (5!) gallon drum?
This is standard fare at the consumerist circus that is Sam's Club.
And for most, close to 2,000 cheese puffs in a five gallon drum would...
well, probably suffice.
But not her. Not this woman. Only God knows why, to what ultimate
purpose she had in mind, but this night she felt the need to buy 6 (SIX!!!)
FIVE GALLON DRUMS FOR A POTENTIAL GRAND TOTAL OF CLOSE TO
TWELVE THOUSAND (12,000) CHEESY POOFS!!!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!
I have no futher comment.
posted by Sean Corley at 10:50 PM
1 Comments:
Let's think that this woman is saintly and wonderful, but simply misunderstood. Let's say she is a daycare owner with 100 neglected children whose capitalist, career-driven parents always neglect to send a healthy snack for their precious progeny.
Or, let's say she makes snack bags for the homeless and hands them out in her spare time - en masse.
Perhaps birds LOVE cheese puffs and she ensures that that certain migratory songbirds have lots of carbs to fuel their flight to foreign shores.
Or, what if she's really a pathetic, obsessive-compulsive, anorexic, bulimic who can go through an entire can of cheese puffs - 2,000 of them - on a bad day, and she's just gone through some great tragedy that she's mourning. Maybe her best friend just moved so far away that she doesn't know when she'll ever see him again, and she doesn't know any other way to fill the emptiness that wakes her in the night other than to stuff and stuff and stuff her body with nutrient-absent, sodium-loaded carbo-fat that she's so ashamed of eating she MUST purge herself.
Maybe its just a great deal. Guess you had to be there.
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