If control is an illusion, how do airplanes fly?
March has begun.
Four straight months of unemployment...
With very little sitting on the horizon.
Apparently, we are moving to the other side of the metropolitan area at the end of this month...
The result of a three day decision-making process.
I AM trying to stay optimistic about of all of this...
Despite my Spider-Sense tingling every second that I am awake.
What SHOULD I do?
Do I simply continue to "adapt" to this situation because HERE is not THERE and THERE was providing only stagnation?
What SHOULD I do?
Do I trust that I do still have a place HERE?
I am learning a new breed of patience.
I have begun to accept that control is an illusion.
Have I learned enough to apply it anywhere if I have to? Even if I have to return home before I want to?
The circumstances HERE are going to continue to change even after the move...
Am I going to be able to live with them?
Everything fit so well in this apartment. I'm not even certain everything in my room now will fit in the new room.
I will need a comfortable room to retreat to...
Living with a couple makes one's room a sanctuary.
What SHOULD I do?
Do I still belong on this path? Or I am being shown the reasons to start again on another one? Is synchronicity forcing my hand? How many "tests" am I supposed to take in a row? How many smiles do I fake before I get to the one that's real?
Damn it. I was JUST starting to feel settled...
But really, I JUST unpacked. I JUST learned all of the streets around me. I JUST started talking to all of the neighbors...
Stiff upper lip and all that jive. Grin and bear it is the ONLY option of the moment.
The effort to be happy in the face of life's bullshit must continue.
But I still can't deny that I AM NOT a "Rainbows, dewdrops and sweet, yummy lollipops" kind of guy.
I'd still take a shot of whiskey, a smoke and a rainy night at a jazz bar before anything else!
"Que sera, sera" as they say.
Four straight months of unemployment...
With very little sitting on the horizon.
Apparently, we are moving to the other side of the metropolitan area at the end of this month...
The result of a three day decision-making process.
I AM trying to stay optimistic about of all of this...
Despite my Spider-Sense tingling every second that I am awake.
What SHOULD I do?
Do I simply continue to "adapt" to this situation because HERE is not THERE and THERE was providing only stagnation?
What SHOULD I do?
Do I trust that I do still have a place HERE?
I am learning a new breed of patience.
I have begun to accept that control is an illusion.
Have I learned enough to apply it anywhere if I have to? Even if I have to return home before I want to?
The circumstances HERE are going to continue to change even after the move...
Am I going to be able to live with them?
Everything fit so well in this apartment. I'm not even certain everything in my room now will fit in the new room.
I will need a comfortable room to retreat to...
Living with a couple makes one's room a sanctuary.
What SHOULD I do?
Do I still belong on this path? Or I am being shown the reasons to start again on another one? Is synchronicity forcing my hand? How many "tests" am I supposed to take in a row? How many smiles do I fake before I get to the one that's real?
Damn it. I was JUST starting to feel settled...
But really, I JUST unpacked. I JUST learned all of the streets around me. I JUST started talking to all of the neighbors...
Stiff upper lip and all that jive. Grin and bear it is the ONLY option of the moment.
The effort to be happy in the face of life's bullshit must continue.
But I still can't deny that I AM NOT a "Rainbows, dewdrops and sweet, yummy lollipops" kind of guy.
I'd still take a shot of whiskey, a smoke and a rainy night at a jazz bar before anything else!
"Que sera, sera" as they say.
posted by Sean Corley at 9:39 PM
3 Comments:
I would buy your drinks, light your cigs, and keep you company if you'd let me come with you.
Oh, the Anonymous post...
Tell me who you are, 'cuz if you're buying the drinks I'll meet you at the train station!
I really felt this blog and I would like you to know that it is going to be in your most lowest of moments when the goodness of others will reach out to you. Whether they are silver or gold. I'm not sure if I am quoting this correctly, but...you can't taste the sweet without knowing the bitter...
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