Papa needs a new pair of shoes...

Let's be as clear as possible right now, right here: I HATE MONEY. I hate the exchange of it. I hate the need for it. I hate the greed it causes. I hate the envy it incites in people. At it's very core, it is a distasteful self-repeating system of more versus less that creates a desire quotient that could NEVER be satisfied by even the "richest" humans on this planet. But above all of that, above all of the complaints from a person who will never have alot of money, there is one thing about it that I hate over all the rest: It is inescapable. And I loathe what that does to me as a person. Everyday, I have to live (and be content) with participating in a system I find revolting. I have to abide everyday with the duplicity and spiritual incongruity of BEING in a materialistic, consumeristic, self-satisfying, selfish, greedy, unrelenting, bloated, capitalist wasteland. And I have no other choice. I am neither a victim or a victor. I am not 'poor' and I am not 'rich'. I am simply stuck, like an insect in amber, in an economic purgatory, always wondering about "the next dollar". I am tired. I am tired of feeling the guilt of participation. I will not live without it. I condone its continuation EVERY GODDAMN day. I am tired of the inconsistency. I have asked my friends before in discussion to consider in one day how often the decisions they make that day involve money on some level. I became nasueated when I did it. The bulk of my thought processes end with the involvement of money.
I am tired.Tired of these thoughts. Tired of knowing how much longer, how many more YEARS, these thoughts will pervade.
I need to find a job in this new place.
I just bought a DVD.
Isn't life an orchestrated irony?

p.s. I promise I will try not to be so continually depressing. But no promises...

Today was actually a very beautiful day.